Even if you don’t believe in the teachings of the Bible and Book of Mormon on sexual morality, there is still a compelling case for living the principle of “no sex outside of marriage.” Sexual morality is one of the greatest principles that the world needs to be taught, a principle that could restore a lot of peace, happiness, and physical health in the world today.
Those who add a sexual component to their dating relationships often miss the phase of actually getting to know and love a person during dating, instead focusing on the passions that can blind people to all else. These relationships are less likely to be based on genuine common values and interests and genuine respect and love for the other person. Meaningful conversation and empathy are less likely. The other person may just become an object or plaything.
Those who have no qualms about sex before marriage are more likely to accept sex outside of marriage once they are wedded, and that means terrible heartache or even disease for the betrayed spouse. Marry someone with high moral values – and have those values yourself – if you want a successful and happy marriage.
Those who want to jump into a sexual relationship right away tend to lack physical self-control. They tend to be slaves to their passion. The reality of a great relationship and great marriage is that both partners need self-discipline and strength to wade through the many challenges of life without abandoning each other. A spouse with physical self-control in sexuality is also more likely to not lose his or her temper, to not be abusive, etc.
A terrible reality of sex outside of marriage is that children are born without the benefit of having two parents. It is clearly best for a child to have both. Given the fact that children raised by only one parent are more likely to be in poverty, turn to crime, receive less education, etc., and are less likely to get the attention and guidance they need that comes from two loving parents, we should strive to make sure that our children are raised in the best possible way: in a healthy marriage with two loving parents. Many people do a great job as single parents, but when it’s possible, there is no doubt that two good parents are better than one.
Do I need to mention disease? Yes, because too many of you have fallen for the lie that a condom makes everything OK. Condoms are no guarantee of anything! Even when they work as designed, they don’t prevent all sexually transmitted diseases. HPV, for example, which can result in cancer for many women, is transmitted in many cases even if condoms are used. The only safe sex is sex inside of marriage between two disease-free people – and that’s most likely when the two people have lived morally clean lives.
One of the best things you can do for your future husband or wife is to keep yourself free of someone else’s sexually transmitted diseases by choosing now to live a morally clean life. Wait until marriage. Face it, that cute girl or guy that you meet at some bar may very well have a disease. Do you want to pass that on as a gift to your future spouse? Don’t be an idiot.
But let’s don’t forget the big picture: there is a God, and He has given us guidelines to bless our lives and spare us from temporal and spiritual dangers. He has given us the commandment to have no sexual activity outside of marriage. Living that principle allows us to have more confidence before God, more joy and peace in our lives, and helps us stay on a path that can bring us back to Him. He created these bodies of ours. They are sacred gifts. The power of creating life is a sacred gift to be used only within marriage. Don’t abuse the gift, don’t cheapen yourself. If you have sinned, become clean again through the power of repentance and the Atonement of Christ.
Stay away from the dropping standards of the world where anything goes. When anything goes, soon everything will be gone. Don’t be left with nothing: stay morally clean, avoid pornography and sexual sin, and offer your future or current spouse the great gift of your morally clean life.
Those who add a sexual component to their dating relationships often miss the phase of actually getting to know and love a person during dating…These relationships are less likely to be based on genuine common values and interests and genuine respect and love for the other person.
Those who have no qualms about sex before marriage are more likely to accept sex outside of marriage once they are wedded…
Although you soften your absolutism by using non-conclusive words (“often” “less likely” “tend”), I believe that your argument is weakened because they appear to be meant that way. As it is, it seems that your argument is reliant on painting a picture of the worst possible scenario with the least responsible people. Meanwhile, those of us that “have no qualms about sex before marriage” yet are responsible in our actions (though I would guess that you believe that to be impossible) are left painted with this broad and misleading brush.
So, while I agree with the particulars (assuming the soft language is truly soft), I do disagree strongly with your aims. As an example, the “sex before marriage = more likely sex outside marriage” claim is quite misleading because there is no causal relationship there. Marriage (even a dating relationship) is one of committment, and if one (like myself) makes that commitment, one should honor it regardless of the pre-marital (pre-dating) sexual environment.
Jeff : Amen, and amen!
Pris : you stated …”Marriage (even a dating relationship) is one of committment, and if one (like myself) makes that commitment, one should honor it regardless of the pre-marital (pre-dating) sexual environment. “… well said! However, do you disagree that those (individuals)with lesser moral convictions prior to marriage will be as likley to uphold moral obligations after marriage? In simpler terms, are you naive enough to believe that a “cheater” will after marraige suddenly change all of his or her ways? Go sit in the back of divorce court sometime. Like you said, “…one should honor it (marital commitments)…” ‘Should’ is the key word, people don’t always live up to their promises.
I’m sorry if my use of softening terms created confusion about this issue. Let me clarify: sexual activity before marriage is wrong. Absolutely wrong. And like all sin, it is harmful. The temporal manifestations of the harm may vary – less self-control, missed opportunities to develop a healthy relationship, less stability in a future marriage, shame, guilt, disease, pregnancy, an IQ point or two shaved off, etc. – but harm is done, loss does occur, and the Spirit of the Lord is grieved.
Even those who do not know the Lord’s commandments are harmed by violating the law of chastity (and others are harmed), just as those who are ignorant of germs will still suffer from their effects. But the spiritual implications are most important, and these are most severe for those who know the standards of the Lord and choose to neglect them.
The Lord is kind is giving us His laws of morality, seeking only to bless us. For those who have sinned, whether in ignorance or in rebellion against God, He still loves you and pleads with you to repent and came unto Him. May we all choose to follow the Lord and flea from immorality in any form. May all of us repent and seek God’s forgiveness for our failures, and put away the sin in our lives.
And for those of who are dating, may God bless you to respect those you date and not cheapen them with sexual activity outside the sacred covenant of marriage. Waiting until marriage is the only decent and noble option.
Mormanity, I would just like to thank you for sharing your wisdom. I think love and relationships is one of the hardest things to stay morally upright with, but I want more than anything to stay clean. I appreciate your advice and thoughts. God bless!